Unmoving Faith

Unmoving Faith

It has come to my attention in these last two nights at Jr High Summer Camp, that I have been unmoving in my faith. I have grown, yes. I have become a better leader, I have learned to be more assertive. But my faith has remained unchanged. Yes, God is changing me, and yes, I am grateful for it, but while I have been changing, my mind, my heart, has not been pulling closer to Him.

We were talking last night about speaking in a prayer language, aka speaking in tongues. It's a trippy idea, but bear with me. That is not, and yet it is, my focus right now. After an oddly worded message, and a lot of confusion for my guys, and honestly, myself, the youth pastor at our youth group, Kyle, took us into the cabin to help us gain some clarity.

Kyle said that this prayer language is like a deeper, powerful praising of God via the Holy Spirit. That it isn't something to be afraid of or be creeped out by, but it is a beautiful thing. That it is like an overflow of God in the soul. It is your spirit saying things your words, your language, cannot express. And I love this idea. It's beautiful to me just to think about it. Words are hardly ever enough, and there comes a time in singing out to God that even that is not enough.

That must be when it kicks in. When I am close enough to the spirit to feel it, to know it without a strand of doubt. And only then will He move in me.

And I need to work on letting myself be His. I know I love Him. And I want to seek Him like an addict seeking their desire. Never stopping, never letting anything get in their way. That's the one thing they have that is profound and so rare to find in Christian Spirituality. That reckless searching, that unhindered yearning for the Spirit of God in us.

so my prayer is that God would give me that love for Himself. That he would help me to constantly strive for him, despite what may stand in my way.

Sent from my iPhone

Slacker...

Slacker...

I've been slacking a lot lately. And in saying that, I don't mean just in my blog. I mean in life.

I haven't been as motivated lately to do things. I haven't put myself out for anyone, I haven't stepped out of my comfort zone, I haven't been spending the time with God that I know I should be... I haven't even felt the need for it. Do you know how wrong that is? To not even feel the pull of God on you? I don't know what happened. I don't know when. All I know is it needs to change.

How long has this been happening? How long has my lack of movement toward God been occurring without my knowledge? Or maybe, and worse, I have noticed. Maybe I just don't wnt anything to change. But now that I think about it, change is something I want. Change is something I should strive for. Change is important. Change and improvement upon myself. Even my description on my profile page says that I am learning new things about myself all the time, and I can always be improving on myself. So what's my problem? Where is my motivation? Where, oh Lord, did I lose you? And better still, where did I lose myself?

Written March 15, 2011

Sent from my iPhone

The X Factor

Here I sit, waiting for the X Factor auditions to start. This could be one amazing step in my career as an artist, or it could be just another attempt to get myself discovered. but no matter what happens, I have faith that it is Gods will. I mean, if you look at it through my eyes, my life is lead by God's decisions for me. His plan for me is what will be, one way or another. I am destined to do his work. So will it be through music, and through the X factor? Only time will tell.

I guess I buy into the idea that everything happens for a reason. I feel like, if it were not gods intention for me, it wouldn't happen, and if it is, then He will have his hand in it.

I'll keep you guys posted today. If you want to take the journey with me, join me via twitter. Assuming you're awake in time for this to apply. My username is aaronjay. Hit me up!

Thanks to all who read. this ones for you!

aaron

If everything was lost...

If you were to lose everything today, would you be ready? Would you have something to hold on to? If your best friend, your boyfriend, your family wasn't there for you, what would you do?

The Bible tells us to be fully reliant upon God, and to have no idols before God. God will never leave you or forsake you, so if the world fell apart around you, shouldn't you be fine? Or at least well enough to worship Him still in everything?

For me, this is no easy task. I do love God, but do I love Him with everything I own? Do I give Him everything, and let Him lead me in everything I do? I definitely do not. For me, if my world were to fall apart tomorrow, I would be devastated and heart-broken. I wouldn't know what to do with myself, because I don't have a back-up plan. But I also shouldn't need one.

God is our protector, as well as our provider. He will give us what we need when we need it. He will save us from the pain the world will inflict upon us, if we only put our everything in Him. Faith is a difficult thing. No one said that follow Christ was going to be easy. No one said it was going to be smooth. Only worth it. If not now, then in the end, because we have treasures stored up in heaven through Him.

So today's post is about encouragement. God is there, even when it seems like He isn't. Put your faith in Him, no matter what is going on in your life, and He will make all situations work for good in your life. He does that for His children.

So, while you may not see what he has done through you on this earth, but when you are with Him, you will never be able to forget.

Also remember that He will give you what you need. He will make you strong. When they say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", believe it. Because with God, you will become stronger through hard situations.

They will also give you a point to relate to other people with when sharing your story!

So love God, because, even when you're being a pill, He loves you more.

Aaron

Who am I?

Do you know who I am?

Do you know what I've done?

You do.

So you know why I ask.

Who am I?

Who am I that you would show me love?

Who am I that you would show me anything?

I am a sinner.

But aren't we all?

Its hard to remind myself that people have done far worse than I,

And yet you love them.

You show them mercy.

This mercy.

This mercy that has changed me.

This mercy that, without you, could never exist.

And who are you?

Who are you to show me this love?

This unfailing, thoroughly unconditional love?

You are God.

You are the savior of the nation.

No. of the world.

You are the beginning and the end.

The Alpha and the Omega.

And still you love me.

And still you make clean.

I am a sinner.

But aren't we all?

I've fallen.

I've pushed people down.

I've broken hearts and damaged lives.

But still you love me.

Still you hold me in your glorious hand.

Still you save me with a redeeming grace shown only to those who know you.

So who am I to know you?

Who am I to deserve this love, this unfailing love?

That you, the king of kings, the holy of holys,

Would redeem me and my broken soul?

Who am I?

Stand up For love

I spent this last weekend at a winter camp for our church youth, and many churches from our area. I stayed with our junior high guy students, and I learned something important. Pain, hurt, and sorrow don't start in high school. The realization that the world is a corrupt and fallen place can begin very early.

One of the guys, whose family attends our church, and he will soon be attending our youth ministry, told me about his life from a broken home. His mother and father are both remarried, divorced when he was 6 months old, yet they still constantly fight. So much so, that when he told our cabin this, his eyes filled with tears, and he couldn't finish the story.

Another boy came with his sister, after having recently been kicked out of their housing. They were staying with a friend until that friends landlord found out, and forced them to move out in 10 days. His mother is disabled, and cannot find a job, and yet our government will not give her disability to support her kids.

He and his sister spent their first night back with their mother in a shelter. He didn't understand how this wasn't normal.

A third guy I connected with told me about his friend, 13, who he wasn't sure he'd see again, because he was talking about suicide. His friend lives with his mom, and they are poor. They are currently living with a man who weighs 400 pounds, has severe medical issues, and has massive amounts of money. They live in his house, and this boy is constantly being yelled at and ridiculed by the man. he and his mother are waiting for the man to die, so they can inherit his money.

These three stories are 100% true, and they are happening under the roof of our church. These three boys are living lives corrupted by society and government. Why? Because our nation can't give money to those in need. Because one boys parents can't manage to keep their fighting hidden. Because lower class is all that another family feels like they can ever be.

And they say freedom is free.

So I have to ask myself, and the world in general, a question:

How fucked up does the world have to become before someone stands up and does something about it?

If you know me, you know I don't cuss a lot. Especially not in writing, but sometimes things are needed for emphasis.

So here's my plan: I want to raise awareness of these problems in our society. I want to be the voice for those who no one will listen to. I want to give people like these hope. I want them to know that God has a plan for them, and that it is greater than anything the world could offer.

So that is what I will do.

Help me Stand up For Love. Because, maybe its love that needs to be heard.

Aaron Jay