Do something that scares you...

I was listening to Air 1 on my way home from work this morning, and one of the DJs quoted the wife of Toby Mac, a well known christian rap artist. He said "Do something that scares you everyday." That doesn't mean like driving off a cliff or going the wrong way down a one way street during rush hour.

In doing something that scares you, you are stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something that makes you uncomfortable. Maybe it's something small, like initiating a conversation with a stranger, or something huge, like leaving everything behind and going on a missions trip you've felt God calling you to do.

If you know me at all, you know that I am not a risk taker. I am the kind of person who likes to hang out with friends and read stuff. This made me think, tho. Maybe my lack of taking risks is holding me back. Maybe my fear of change is making an impact on me for the worse.

I know that I am a child of God, but I don't always do what he's calling me to do. "Don't go there, Aaron" or "Aaron, you're going to regret that!"

I am going to open up a bit here. This is the dirty truth about me.

I don't read my bible. At least, not very often. Honestly, it scares me a little. I mean, I don't want to come across something that is going to completely alter the way I live. I like who I am. I don't want to come across something that tells me I am doing something wrong, because I know that, once I've seen that and realized it, God will expect change, and rightly so.

But here's my problem. If I don't take the time to step out of who I am, I am never going to grow. The Bible is the way God shows you to live your life. It's a path that God has chosen for all of us, and its words speak to everyone in different ways. I've seen this over time, that many people get very different things out of the same verses. Not in taking things out of context, but I've been to bible studies and things that, in reading a bible story, everyone has a different perspective on it, and it leads everyone differently.

I don't think God intended everyone to get that same things out of the bible. I mean, I'm sure He knew that anyone that read it would get something different out of it, that everyone would be shown a different way to go. That was probably the point. I mean, if everything in the Bible was meant to be a list of rules a regulations, and a list of things that we should all be growing and changing in at the same time and the same pace, God would have made The Guidebook instead of the Bible.

Well, Im getting really tired. If I think about it, maybe I'll add some more later.

Thanks! I look forward to your perspectives!

Aaron Jay

Forget And Not Slow Down....

There is a song by the wonderful band Relient K called Forget And Not Slow Down, and the lyrics are as follows:

How many times
Can I push it aside
Is it time I befriended all the ghosts of all the things that haunt me most
So they leave me alone
Move on with my life
Be certain the steps of left and right don't fight the direction of upright

I'd rather forget and not slow down
Than gather regret for the things I can't change now
If I become what I can't accept
Resurrect the saint from within the wretch
Pour over me and wash my hands of it

It's time to decide
Which is out of my mind
Cause it'll be me unless I put some thoughts to rest and leave some faults behind
I'll watch the glint in my eye
Shine off the spring in my step
And could be blinding depending on the amount of You that I reflect

Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through
What I could've done better but what good do what ifs do
Oh oh
Oh oh
There's something I should tell you now

This song is one that I've heard many times, but not until today did the lyrics really occur to me. Even the title speaks volumes. We hear the saying "Forgive and forget" all the time, but if you really think about forgiving people, and the process of doing that, it sets us back relationally. The title "Forget and not slow down" is projected in the song in the phrase "I'd rather forget and not slow down." In all actuality, wouldn't it just be easier to forget, not worry about forgiving, and never have that issue with setback in relationships?

I've learned from experience that, while this may be easier, it wouldn't solve any problems. To forget about a problem and not confront it, especially when it comes to relationships, will lead to nothing but greater pain. I had a friend that drove me crazy, but due to my fear on confrontation, whenever this friend would do something i disagreed with, such as putting down different races or using women, I wouldn't say anything. One day, we decided to move in together. So we got an apartment, and his jokes and issues continued, and i continued to not say anything. Eventually, it started to get on my nerves, and it began to get to the point where every little thing he did infuriated me. Eventually, we got in a huge fight and things haven't been the same between us since then.

If I had spoken my mind, let him know that his jokes bothered me, maybe things would have been better. Maybe he would have tried to censor himself around me a little more, and I would have been okay with that.

The only thing about stuff like that is that I hate when people aren't completely real around me. It drives me insane.

Thats not the point though.

Looking back at the song, my favorite line in this song is "Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through,

What I could've done better but what good do what ifs do?"

This line speaks to me because I do this all the time. I look back at my life and think about times when I could have done better (See the above example), and I think about the "what ifs" of life. What if I'd persued her? What if I'd told them? What if I really put myself out there?

Then I realize something. What good will "what ifs" do? If I want to put myself out, I can do it. Life isn't what you've missed. Life is what you make it. And, for some of us, life is what you and God make it.

So don't spend your life worrying about setbacks that come with forgiveness. Forgiveness is important, and can change things drastically. And don't look back and life and wonder what you could or should have done. Focus on what you are doing and where you are headed.

Life is a journey, and with God, you have something to aim for.

Love you guys, and keep your eyes out for more soon!

Aaron Jay

For the love of life...

So, the last few days have had me thinking about life, and the lives of others, and I have been thinking, specifically, about gay people.

Gays are looked at in a way that is completely unnecessary and untrue. They are treated as though they were given a choice to be gay, when, in most cases, that is not true. I have known quite a few people who were gay, lesbian, bisexual, or whatever, and every single one of them has been a good friend to me, and to judge them because of their sexual orientation is wrong, and completely ungodly.

If I remember correctly, God called us all to love. Love like Jesus loved, and live like Jesus lived. Do you think Jesus went around and bashed gays? Do you think Jesus protested gay funerals and went around the country showing how much God hates people?

The Jesus I know wouldn't do something like that. The Jesus I know condemns the sin, not the sinner. Jesus was an amazing man, and I cannot imagine for a second that he lived his life bringing people down.

If I am pissing you off, than I'm glad I am. Some changes need to be made in your perspective if I am.

I've never been the type to tell people what is right and what is wrong. I'm not the kind of person who will tell you that you are wrong, and I am right. However, this is something I am passionate about. We are called, as Christians, to love all who we come in contact with, no matter what they've done. Jesus did the same. I feel like, many times, as Christians, we pull people down, condemning them for their sin. Or their sexuality. Or their past.

We are called to build people up. God doesn't pull people down. God doesn't lead people into downward spirals eventually ending in Suicide.

I had a friend who recently committed suicide. He was bisexual, and he went through a lot in his life. He struggled with his identity, always searching for the truth in life and in the world. He spent the life he lived trying to identify the truth about our world, trying to find what was right and what was true. Trying to find who it was that would be accepting and who it was that would be condemning.

I happen to know for a fact that, in Christianity, he found condemnation. Many people do. That is why, when you look at statistics today, you find that a mere 4% of my generation is Christian. It's because Christians are very condemning and judgmental people. If I hadn't found Jesus myself, apart from the condemnation, I would easily have fallen away a long time ago. People hurt people, I've learned, and this is what causes peoples pain and suffering and, ultimately, their demise.

Tyler, my friend who died, was an amazing person. He was brilliant, and he would have been an asset to God's kingdom. If only he hadn't found pain in something that should have screamed love.

I devote my life to two things.

The real, loving God, and showing that He is Love. Not condemnation.

For all who I have wronged in my past, I apologize. If i have ever lead you to believe anything else about God, then I have lead you incorrectly. God is none but Love. He is not condemning, he builds up. He shows his love in our lives by giving us friends and family, and nature to enjoy, and people to love.

My prayer is that every Christian you ever run into will emanate love, not hatred. My prayer is that, for as long as I live, Love is my religion. I will not claim Christianity. Only God, and the love that comes with Him.

Rest peacefully, dear TJ. You were an amazing man, and I wish I could have spent more time with you in the end. God loves you, and I hope you knew that.