This is the new year...

So an old year is fading, and a new one beginning. This year is going to be big for me.

I have some demons I have to face, and a future that begs to begin. I have a lot to do, and a year to do it. Be prepared for a lot of ups and downs, a lot of tears, a lot of pain, and a lot of venting.

Be ready, also, for a lot of joy. A lot of reconciliation. A lot of finding myself and living as I am called to live.

This year, I have people I need to be real with. I have people who need to learn more about my heart, my feelings, my life in general....

There has been a common theme in these past few days. Something that I didn't really expect, but that, since I've been setting my eyes on God once again, I know need to be done. I feel a call to live life to its fullest. To stop being afraid, and begin giving my life the attention it deserves.

I'm a very fearful person. I try not to be, but trying doesn't lead to success. Doing does. So from this moment on, I will begin to be truthful and honest. I will be genuine in who I am, and with those that I speak to.

My life is going to take a turn for the better. And while I'm a little scared, I know that everything will be worth it in the end. This is going to be a rough year, but it's going to be an amazing ride.

Thank you for hanging in there. And do me a favor: don't let me be the only one. Live your life fearlessly. I know realistically that not everyone believes in God, or even thinks its a realistic idea, but live fearlessly. Not for Him, necessarily, but for yourself. Society fills us with fear, teaches us to strive to live in safety, but as my friend Kelsey and I like to say, what is life without risk?

Go out, and live fearlessly.
Aaron Jay

Religion is for the Dependent.

I have come to a strong resolution. Not a conclusion, by any means, just a large answer to an even larger question.

This question is one that everyone has to face. It is a question that consumed every life, some until the day that they die. It's a question that, even to those who know the answer will still need to be reminded of it.

This is the question of identity. Who am I? What is the reason for my existence? I believe the answer is different for all of us. Life leads us down different roads, because we are given different things, and make different decisions.

However, the answer for myself is clear. I am a child of God. I live my life by his hand, his guidance, leading my every direction. He has called me to be the ultimate lover. I mean this by no means sexually, although someday, I'm sure this will be part of it as well.

What I mean is, I am called to love. To show grace to the broken, to show mercy to those that wrong me.it is the sole reason for my existence.

God has called me to be a stronger person. He knows what he has set aside for me, and, while I do not, I have faith that his plan is the best for me.

This is where this gets important. Where it gets deep, and where I could piss some people off.

I did not find this because of a religion. I didn't follow a set of rules created by a church or denomination. I came to this resolution with the help of God, and Him alone. He has set upon my heart an inherent need to love other people. There have been times in my life where I have built up so many walls in my heart that I haven't been able to feel love from others to myself. Yet, even in those times, I was loving other people. It's something inside of me that I wouldn't change, even if I had the opportunity.

I titled this "Religion Is For The Dependent" because I truly believe that. Religion is an idea or mindset of moral conformity. A set of rules laid out by a church or group that is put in place to keep people together. Not to BRING people together.

Let me out it this way: here in the USA, we like fences. They keep in our animals, our children, and keep people we don't want in away. In Australia, they use watering holes. They know that, no matter where their animals wander, they always know where to find water, and they'll always return for it.

These are perfect descriptions of religion versus living as we are called. Religion puts up fences, boundaries, to keep people in, to draw people to what they believe is the heart of Christ, or whatever else. These fences are also very good at keeping out the people they don't want: the broken, the poor, the ones who look like they've been thru hell, because chances are good that they have.

We are called to live out Christ like a watering hole. There are no boundaries. There is open land to wander and to explore, and the freedom to search and to find. And there is Christ, in the center, waiting for you to come fill yourself up with him. He wants us to look for ourselves, to realize that, without a doubt, he has us covered.

He doesn't want us to be part of his kingdom because we were taught to. He doesn't want us to be part of his kingdom because that is what we grew up believing, and "2000 years of tradition can't be wrong" (that's another story...).

He wants us to be part of his kingdom because we want to be, because we have found life abundant in Him, and he is our life, our namesake, even.

Do me a favor. Give him a chance. Don't follow a set of rules that were set 2,000 years ago because that is what you grew up to believe. Live with his input in your life. Find his involuntary attraction, and go with it.

You truly haven't lived until you've given the Creator a chance to lead you. And he will bring you places you never knew you could go.

Aaron Jay

Questions lead to strength.

Hey guys...

It's been a while, I know, but sometimes there just isn't anything worth writing about. Today, tho, I've got something.

My faith is always growing. Sometimes there are setbacks, but this is to be expected. When you aren't putting forth effort in a relationship, it isn't going to gain momentum. But that's a topic for another day.

Today, I want to talk about questions. Questioning people, questioning beliefs, even questioning God (gasp!) so many times we are told that questioning God is wrong. That it leads to downfall and doubt. Whoever said that doesn't know the same God that I do.

It seems to me that the more I question God, the more I find Him. The more I fall away, the more he brings me back to him. I have a million questions for God. Why do people die? Why do we suffer? What are his plans for my life? When I have so many options, which way do I go? And sometimes, how do I move forward with such a strong push to fall complacent?

It's nights like these that I end up finding him even more. Days like this, that show me I'm moving the right direction. Days that I feel pushed toward something that I know his hand is in. For me, that thing is music.

For those of you that know me, music is a passion of mine, and my absolute favorite way to honor and worship God. For those of you that don't, know this: I am not your typical musician. I don't really fit in to any stereotypes or anything like that. Music fills my soul. Every movement that I make thru the day, everything that I do, is filled with music in some way. May it be a song in my head, or playing music to improve my skill and to glorify Him.

This has lead me to know one thing: music is my calling. And Gods direction is all I need from there.

Today, I felt that in a big way. This summer improved my confidence, and my skill level, in playing and singing. And this summer, I've had 2 opportunities to make my music be my living. I'm ecstatic. God is absolutely leading me to where I need to be, and he is slowly fulfilling my lifelong dream of pursuing music full time.

I promise I'm going somewhere with this...

I say this to get this point across: when I try to direct myself, I fall backward. I get into a place where I am depressed, and unmoving. But when I let God lead me, he leads me to amazing places.

I question him, ask him to give me direction, to give me answers when I am wondering, and he doesn't always answer. He doesn't always make it obvious what I am supposed to do.

But when I ask, and I do find answers, they lead me to greater faith. Faith in myself, faith in him, and, more rarely, faith in humanity.

So the title of this blog, questions lead to strength, is to tell you this:

Question. Ask what you want to know. Ask him to guide your moves. While it may not seem like he is at first, know that he is always faithful. Message me in Facebook, or shoot me an email at aaronjay88@me.com, and ask me how I got to where I am. Ask me the story of my summer and how He lead me to greater things than I had ever thought possible in such short a time. Ask me anything, really. If I don't know, I'll tell you, and I'll look for it.

Ask me, and you'll receive an answer. And hopefully, be encouraged in that.

Much love to my readers. I love you guys, and id love to hear some feedback!

Spread the word!!!
Aaron Jay

Unmoving Faith

Unmoving Faith

It has come to my attention in these last two nights at Jr High Summer Camp, that I have been unmoving in my faith. I have grown, yes. I have become a better leader, I have learned to be more assertive. But my faith has remained unchanged. Yes, God is changing me, and yes, I am grateful for it, but while I have been changing, my mind, my heart, has not been pulling closer to Him.

We were talking last night about speaking in a prayer language, aka speaking in tongues. It's a trippy idea, but bear with me. That is not, and yet it is, my focus right now. After an oddly worded message, and a lot of confusion for my guys, and honestly, myself, the youth pastor at our youth group, Kyle, took us into the cabin to help us gain some clarity.

Kyle said that this prayer language is like a deeper, powerful praising of God via the Holy Spirit. That it isn't something to be afraid of or be creeped out by, but it is a beautiful thing. That it is like an overflow of God in the soul. It is your spirit saying things your words, your language, cannot express. And I love this idea. It's beautiful to me just to think about it. Words are hardly ever enough, and there comes a time in singing out to God that even that is not enough.

That must be when it kicks in. When I am close enough to the spirit to feel it, to know it without a strand of doubt. And only then will He move in me.

And I need to work on letting myself be His. I know I love Him. And I want to seek Him like an addict seeking their desire. Never stopping, never letting anything get in their way. That's the one thing they have that is profound and so rare to find in Christian Spirituality. That reckless searching, that unhindered yearning for the Spirit of God in us.

so my prayer is that God would give me that love for Himself. That he would help me to constantly strive for him, despite what may stand in my way.

Sent from my iPhone

Slacker...

Slacker...

I've been slacking a lot lately. And in saying that, I don't mean just in my blog. I mean in life.

I haven't been as motivated lately to do things. I haven't put myself out for anyone, I haven't stepped out of my comfort zone, I haven't been spending the time with God that I know I should be... I haven't even felt the need for it. Do you know how wrong that is? To not even feel the pull of God on you? I don't know what happened. I don't know when. All I know is it needs to change.

How long has this been happening? How long has my lack of movement toward God been occurring without my knowledge? Or maybe, and worse, I have noticed. Maybe I just don't wnt anything to change. But now that I think about it, change is something I want. Change is something I should strive for. Change is important. Change and improvement upon myself. Even my description on my profile page says that I am learning new things about myself all the time, and I can always be improving on myself. So what's my problem? Where is my motivation? Where, oh Lord, did I lose you? And better still, where did I lose myself?

Written March 15, 2011

Sent from my iPhone

The X Factor

Here I sit, waiting for the X Factor auditions to start. This could be one amazing step in my career as an artist, or it could be just another attempt to get myself discovered. but no matter what happens, I have faith that it is Gods will. I mean, if you look at it through my eyes, my life is lead by God's decisions for me. His plan for me is what will be, one way or another. I am destined to do his work. So will it be through music, and through the X factor? Only time will tell.

I guess I buy into the idea that everything happens for a reason. I feel like, if it were not gods intention for me, it wouldn't happen, and if it is, then He will have his hand in it.

I'll keep you guys posted today. If you want to take the journey with me, join me via twitter. Assuming you're awake in time for this to apply. My username is aaronjay. Hit me up!

Thanks to all who read. this ones for you!

aaron

If everything was lost...

If you were to lose everything today, would you be ready? Would you have something to hold on to? If your best friend, your boyfriend, your family wasn't there for you, what would you do?

The Bible tells us to be fully reliant upon God, and to have no idols before God. God will never leave you or forsake you, so if the world fell apart around you, shouldn't you be fine? Or at least well enough to worship Him still in everything?

For me, this is no easy task. I do love God, but do I love Him with everything I own? Do I give Him everything, and let Him lead me in everything I do? I definitely do not. For me, if my world were to fall apart tomorrow, I would be devastated and heart-broken. I wouldn't know what to do with myself, because I don't have a back-up plan. But I also shouldn't need one.

God is our protector, as well as our provider. He will give us what we need when we need it. He will save us from the pain the world will inflict upon us, if we only put our everything in Him. Faith is a difficult thing. No one said that follow Christ was going to be easy. No one said it was going to be smooth. Only worth it. If not now, then in the end, because we have treasures stored up in heaven through Him.

So today's post is about encouragement. God is there, even when it seems like He isn't. Put your faith in Him, no matter what is going on in your life, and He will make all situations work for good in your life. He does that for His children.

So, while you may not see what he has done through you on this earth, but when you are with Him, you will never be able to forget.

Also remember that He will give you what you need. He will make you strong. When they say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", believe it. Because with God, you will become stronger through hard situations.

They will also give you a point to relate to other people with when sharing your story!

So love God, because, even when you're being a pill, He loves you more.

Aaron